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Jumat, 16 Maret 2012

Spoof text?? The Perfect Husband?


The Perfect Husband?
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's
only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007
models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$80,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."


The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone is???!!!"

Spoof text?? Penguin In The Park


Penguin In The Park
Once a man was walking in a park when he across a penguin. He took it to a policeman and said; "What should I do?" The policeman replied; "Take it to the zoo!".
The next day, the policeman saw the man in the same park. The man was still carrying the penguin. The policeman was rather surprised and walked up to the man and asked; "Why are you still carrying the penguin? Didn't you take it to the zoo?" The man replied; "I certainly did. And it was a great idea because the penguin really enjoyed it. So, today I am taking it to the movie".

Spoof text?? Honey, What's For Supper?


Honey, What's For Supper?
An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

“Here's what you do,” said the doctor. “Start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He says to himself, “I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what's for supper?”
No response.

So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what's for supper?”
Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what's for supper?”
Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what's for supper?”
Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what's for supper?”
“Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!”

Spoof text?? Nasreddin’s Coat


Nasreddin’s Coat
One day Nasreddin had been invited to the dinner party. He went to the party by wearing old clothes.
When he arrived in the party, nobody looked at him and nobody gave him a seat. He got no food in the party so he went home and change his clothes
Next he put on his best clothes. He wore his newest coat and went to the party again. The host at once got up and came to meet him. The host offered him the best table and gave him a good seat and served him the best food
Nasreddin sat and put off his coat. He put his coat and said; “Eat the food, Coat!” the hosts and guests were very surprised and asked Nareddin; “What are doing?” Nasreddin replied calmly; “When I came here with my old clothes, nobody looked at me. Then I went home and put on my best clothes. I came back in my newest coat and you all give me this best food and drink. So, you give food to my coat instead of me”. Getting Nasreddin's answer, they just shook the head. 

Spoof text ??That Phone Is Off


That Phone Is Off
Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.
Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.
“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.
The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”

Makalah respirasi biologi??? B.Inggris


Aim
To know the volume lung of insects on the rate of respiration.
Preliminary
Insects
Air enters the respiratory systems of most insects through a series of external openings called spiracles. These external openings, which act as muscular valves in some insects, lead to the internal respiratory system, a densely networked array of tubes called tracheae. The scientific tracheal system within an individual is composed of interconnecting transverse and longitudinal tracheae which maintain equivalent pressure throughout the system. These tracheae branch repeatedly, eventually forming tracheoles, which are blind-ended, water-filled compartments only one micrometer in diameter. It is at this level of the tracheoles that oxygen is delivered to the cells for respiration. The trachea are water-filled due to the permeable membrane of the surrounding tissues. During exercise, the water level retracts due to the increase in concentration of lactic acid in the muscle cells. This lowers the water potential and the water is drawn back into the cells via osmosis and air is brought closer to the muscle cells. The diffusion pathway is then reduced and gases can be transferred more easily.
Insects were once believed to exchange gases with the environment continuously by the simple diffusion of gases into the tracheal system. More recently, however, large variation in insect ventilatory patterns have been documented and insect respiration appears to be highly variable. Some small insects do demonstrate continuous respiration and may lack muscular control of the spiracles. Others, however, utilize muscular contraction of the abdomen along with coordinated spiracle contraction and relaxation to generate cyclical gas exchange patterns and to reduce water loss into the atmosphere. The most extreme form of these patterns is termed discontinuous gas exchange cycles (DGC).




Tools and Materials

·        Respirometre
·        Balance
·        Pipette
·        Vaseline
·        NaOH crystal
·        Eosine solution
·        Tissue
·        4 Crickets
·        Spatula


Step
Ø  Wrap the NaOH crystal with cotton and insert into the respirometre tube,
Ø  Weight and measure the cricket,
Ø  Insert the cricket into the respirometre tube and close with a pipe that has been covered with vaseline on the surface,
Ø  Cover the end of the pipe with your finger for one minute then release your finger and insert a drop of eosin using a pipette,
Ø  Look and write on note the changes occuring on the position of the eosin drop in the pipe every 1 minutes for 4 minutes,
Ø  Repeat the test using a different cricket until 4 crickets.



Observation Data
Number
Weight of cricket (gr)
Volume descrese (ml) of 2 minute period. .
Total of volume
1
2
3
4
1
0.45
0.07
0.18
0.18
0.13
0.56
2
0.56
0.08
0.11
0.12
0.12
0.43
3
0.77
0.11
0.09
0.1
0.07
0.37
4
0.55
0.18
0.19
0.12
0.07
0.56

gram
1
0,8
0,6
0,4
0,2
0
        0,37                         0,43                   0,56

Data Analysis
1.      Explain why during the expiration sampling the air needs to be released 100 ml ?
To lose the atmosphere air pressure
2.      Based on your measurements, explain the content of oxygen in the atmosphere and after respiration ? O2 being to HgO2 and will be changed to CO2 in exhale.
3.      What factor causes the eosin drop to change position ?
Because there is a cricket in the respirometre tube that it inhale 02 from respiro, but the eosin it closed it and eosin is the measurement.
Factor : the weight of body, temperature, and types of insects
4.      Make a conclusion based on the graphic you had done ?
From my data, the heavier the cricket, the less need of oxygen.
My friends said “The more cricket body weight, the more requires oxygen. While the lighter weight of a cricket body needs less oxygen. Like humans, when human more fat, they require more oxygen.” But I not agree because more weight the body of the living thing it’s maked the lung is bigger, and the inhale is very much at first. But the save air in lung maked the living thing less inhale.  May be at the time of trial, we made ​​a mistake or do not accurately measure the weight of the cricket sand see the changes in the position of eosin. Because the respirometre is lay not stand up.

Conclusion
From my data, the heavier the cricket, the less need of oxygen. more weight the body of the living thing it’s maked the lung is bigger, and the inhale is very much at first. But the save air in lung maked the living thing less inhale May be at the time of trial, we made ​​a mistake or do not accurately measure the weight of the cricket sand see the changes in the position of eosin. Because the respirometre is lay not stand up.

Bibliography
·         http://rifziest.blogspot.com/2009/08/laporan-percobaan-respirasi-menggunaka.html
·         http://secondscienceedu.wordpress.com/ceedu-junior-high/laporan-praktikum-biologi-%E2%80%9Crespirasi-serangga%E2%80%9D/




Jumat, 09 Maret 2012

Cara menghindari aksi tilangan

Kalo tadi udah 5 ciri - ciri polisi yang nilangan
Sekarang kukasih tau deh 5 cara menanggulangi penilangan
1. Sembunyi dibalik bis
2. Jalan rada nengahan
3. Berlagak gak takut
4. Turun dari motor dan nuntun
5. Cara terakhir adalah Kaburr....